The Happy Hive

Fear of Missing Out or FOMO is the buzzword of the day. Advertisers, News Organizations, and Social Media Providers are driven to use this method of connection to keep people tuned in and buying whatever they’re selling. According to an article in the World Journal of Clinical Cases written by Mayanke Gupta and Aditya Sharma, this can be a dangerous phenomenon which “is considered as a type of problematic attachment to social media, and is associated with a range of negative life experiences and feelings, such as a lack of sleep, reduced life competency, emotional tension, negative effects on physical well-being, anxiety and a lack of emotional control; with intimate connections possibly being seen as a way to counter social rejection.” (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8283615/) All of this sounds pretty scary, and it can be really a problem when we look at it from the perspective that if we are not tuning in, trying out, or acting in a proscribed way, we will miss the fun and adventure that life holds for us. I have found myself caught in the web of FOMO from time to time. Lately all the models in the clothing advertisements that I like have a certain look. They are thin, with long, flowing, blond hair, curled ever-so enticingly as they sport their sweaters, striped shirts, or torn jeans. They wear the best hats. (This is what has caught me; I’ve been on the search for the best hat, but I haven’t found what I’m looking for. Oh No! I might miss this look before it’s gone). As I have lost the weight and am now of a size to wear basically most anything I like, it’s hard not to want all the clothes, shoes, and accessories to play up my success in my new body image. But is this really the joy I’m looking for, or is it simply a momentary pleasure?

Elior Moskowitz, a writer who posts often on the site, MeQuilibruim, said something once that really resonated with me. She said, “Self-Compassion doesn’t always mean cutting yourself slack. It means making decisions in the short term that will serve you in the long term.” The problem with the way FOMO is used by the world is that it is only a short term fix and not a solution to the long term problems of feeling competent, being able to sleep without interruption, emotional tension, anxiety, or lack of emotional control. No, if we follow the world, we will always be one click, one purchase, one minute of information away from true happiness or what I would call JOY. So how do we discover how to find true joy in a world that wants instant gratification? Last week. President Russell M. Nelson, of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints flipped this term in my brain and made me think of it in a better light. He said that we shouldn’t let worldly identifiers rob us or take priority over the most important designations of being “a child of God, a child of the covenant, and a disciple of Jesus Christ.” Even if you don’t subscribe to LDS philosophy, knowing who you truly are, and what you are truly worth can help you focus on what you want most, so that your FOMO can be used in developing into the best version of yourself rather than just settling for the world’s false image of what we should want to be. He focused on the potential of who we could BE, or what our individual potential could really look like. For me, in the past year, I have been doing just that. I have been chasing things like health, a peaceful mind, and good habits that serve me in the long term. I’ve been rediscovering a relationship with good food that is more satisfying that a snickers bar. I’ve been seeing the peace that comes from walking without headphones in nature to hear the birds sing and the wind blow. I’ve been taking the time to check in with myself more, rather than check my Facebook feeds. And I feel more joy in this kind of a life; a joy that I definitely do not want to miss out on.

We should fear missing out on some things; just generally not what the advertising, political, or social media campaigns tell us. There are some experiences in life that are vital to our well-being, and when we can shift our gaze away from the world and towards something better, our lives will be better, not worse. We can move towards goals that really mean something more than just owning the newest hat, or watching the latest drama unfold online. And that will lead to real satisfaction and more JOY. I’m all for that!