The Happy Hive

Attitude is Everything About three years ago, my husband was very unhappy with his job. He had worked for his company for a long time, and he felt like he wasn’t appreciated and that there was no room for growth. Fast-forward a year from that, he was in a new job with a new company that required a lot of travel. He was getting a little frustrated with it, and he had heard others in the company complain about it as well. He was shadowing another employee when he spoke of his grievances and concerns. His fellow employee had a totally different opinion of being a contractor. He felt like it liberated him from company politics and he was able to focus more on his job than on interoffice rivalries or other distractions. My husband pondered this and realized that he had been sucked into the negative attitudes that were around him. When he started looking for them, he could find benefits from his job all over the place. I think marriage can be like that. When we are so focused and distracted by petty little annoyances, they can seem magnified in our eyes. They make us lose focus on what’s important. The cloud the big picture. It is easy to get sucked up into the petty little slings and arrows of life when you are in a long –term marriage. How do we shift our focus? One of the things I really like about the textbook we are using is its focus on finding the positive in our everyday life. It helps us see the big picture. I was really happy with an exercise that was included that was really helpful to me to focus on the wonderful things my husband has contributed to my life. I have seen lists that you are encouraged to complete about the things you love about your husband, but what made Dr. Gottman’s list different was it included different words to help you focus and explain what it was that made your spouse so special to you. For the most part, Randy and I share a pretty happy, easy-going relationship on a day to day basis, but counting your blessings in marriage is such a sweet exercise, I would encourage anyone to do it. This morning I was walking and this song came on my i-phone through my headphones and into my heart. This is the type of give and take relationship I hope and believe we are building. Sometimes my husband treats me so well that I don’t understand what it is he sees in me, but listening to this song made me realize that we are this for each other. So if you have a minute, click the link, enjoy and look for ways to build this kind of a relationship. Phillip Phillips "Gone Gone Gone," Dr. Gottman’s book: www.gottman.com/product/the-seven-principles-for-making-marriage-work/